I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
