i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I looked at my own cervix.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
