Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
