Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
