She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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