I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
