Duck Duck Cougar?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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