I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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