i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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