I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Randomize
