Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
