When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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