porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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