Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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