but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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