Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
You may now shotgun with the bride
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
