I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
