i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
