How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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