the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
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