I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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