Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
