I want to walk on stilts...naked
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
