She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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