Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Randomize
