who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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