Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
