I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
