do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
