Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
