Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
