Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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