Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Life is so much better after having sex.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
