After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Need sex. Gaining weight.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
