the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
