HIV tests are more positive than that guy
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
