420 ftw
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
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