just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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