Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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