ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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