if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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