I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
