Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
