His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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