so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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