I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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