I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
