Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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