I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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