He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
