Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
