dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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